erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
