update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
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I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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