my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
