I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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