And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
