I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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