You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
