they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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