ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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