Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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