Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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