You work out of a Hotel?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
