We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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