i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
