he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
