There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
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Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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