I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
