im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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