I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
