What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
