On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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