I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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