I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
