Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
