I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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