I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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