Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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