Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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