i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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