Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
