3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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