why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the day after is always just damage control
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
