you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
