That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
why didn't you poke me back
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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