And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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