I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We have started to decorate penises.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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