my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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