You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
