IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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