I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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