Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
