i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I touched a dick in church today
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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