I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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