Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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