He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
