let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
