I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
