Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
