OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
