They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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