this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
