Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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