I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
whose ass print is on the piano?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
